Early this morning, at four o'clock in the morning local time, Earth was completely demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass in what can only be described as a regrettable administrative error. The demolition notice had been delivered to the local planetary administration department six months ago, but due to an address error, it was delivered to an abandoned furniture shop in South London instead.
When asked for comment on the incident, a spokesperson for the Galactic Planning Commission stated: "We deeply regret this unfortunate mistake. We have arranged alternative accommodation for those affected. It's worth noting, however, that most of Earth's inhabitants had already left the planet before this incident occurred."
Arthur Dent, the only surviving Earthling, recalls being sat outside his house, which was about to be demolished, protesting against local town planning. "I was sitting in front of the bulldozer trying to stop them from demolishing my house," said Mr. Dent, "and then I realized they were actually demolishing the entire planet. It really put things in perspective."
Mr. Dent is now traveling across the galaxy with his alien friend Ford Prefect, who happens to be the spokesperson for an electronic book known as "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." The Guide is a comprehensive and somewhat unreliable travel manual to the galaxy, known for its accurate and practical advice – though occasionally marred by obvious errors and contradictory recommendations.
According to reliable sources, Earth had been considered one of the most uninteresting planets in the galaxy before its demolition. This honor has now been transferred to a planet called "The Pit of Meaninglessness" on the edge of the galaxy, where the inhabitants do nothing but queue up for things, and they're very good at it.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Company advises all residents to remain calm under all circumstances and remember the most important piece of advice: "DON'T PANIC." This phrase is printed on the cover of every Guide in large, friendly letters so that passengers can see it clearly even in moments of despair.